Diamond Crotch

This is a quiz thingummy I devised because I have overly too much time on my hands (quite obvious, as is indicative of my countless emails about goats and cheese, composed with Jacko)... Here's my responses to it, too:

1) Name: Kirk

2) Age: 17

3) What do you want to aspire to be?: A writer.

4) What do you think you'll end up being, however?: A writer.

5) Does anyone seriously read the countless emails on goats/cheese/marshmallows/lint/three-toed sloths/yaks?: I do (as I write them).

6) What was the greatest moment in your life?: This is arguable: being born was certainly a significant event (though some might claim that this was the least greatest moment in my life). Conceptualizing About 8, after all my hardships is certainly one of them, also. To be a romantic and a chivalrist, I might include my first kiss (thought it's difficult to remember). Making new friends (i.e., Nay) and new loves (i.e., Ali). Living in the PROBVS TEMPVS. Surviving the grit of life as yet, and attempting to have a reasonably fun time in the process.

7) What was the worst (or, conversely, least greatest) moment in your life?: Dropping the crystal platter of my life.

8) Who's the sexiest member of About 8?: Not to be biased, but Diamond Crotch indefinitely.

9) Who's the one person who revolutionized your life for you?: Me. I'm the keeper of my own fortunes.

10) Who's the one person who didn't?: Me. I'm the keeper of my own misfortunes.

11) What's your favourite film?: "The Shawshank Redemption"; "The Usual Suspects"; "The Man Who Wasn't There"; "American Beauty"; and "Fight Club" all warrant mention.

12) What's your favourite TV program?: It was, initially, "Ed"; it was also, briefly, "Malcolm in the Middle"; "Red Dwarf", "Blackadder", and "Fawlty Towers" all deserve a tip of the trilby.

13) What's your favourite colour?: Black - the colour of a perennial loser.

14) If you thought about answering the above questions humorously, please tell me why you're insecure enough to think I'd care: I don't think you'd care. How could you ever be shallow enough to care for yourself, Kirk?

15) What do you prefer: Life or Death?: Right now, life. Ask me this question in a decade from now.

16) When someone says "the world is your oyster", does it incur in you the urge to shout back, "yes, an irritated bit of shit inside a mollusc"?: All the goddamned time.

17) Is cynicism unattractive in a guy?: I wouldn't know. It's attractive in a person, though.

18) What, to you, is the most attractive feature in a guy, then?: Living because he wants to.

19) Who happens to be the one person who has always been capable of making you laugh, or alternatively, the one person responsible for making you laugh the most?: Terry Pratchett.

20) Does the "ability in making you laugh" question relate in any way to "the most attractive feature of a guy" question?: No, not particularly.

21) What's your favourite book (honestly)?: "The Lord of the Rings" - the three volume, by JRR Tolkien; "American Gods" by Neil Gaiman; "Small Gods" by Terry Pratchett; "Fear & Loathing In Las Vegas" by Hunter S. Thompson; "Last Chance To See" - Douglas Adams.

22) What's your favourite album?: "Is This It?" - The Strokes; "Source Tags and Codes" - And You Will Know Us By The Trail of Dead; "Placebo" - Placebo.

23) What's your preferred animal to conserve?: The three-toed sloth.

24) If you could date one person, who would it be?: Any free, liberated, fun-loving girl interested in me, my world, and the things that inhabit it.

25) If you could raise someone from the dead, who would it be?: Joseph Stalin - to kick him in the testicles.

26) If Abraham Lincoln was alive today would he a) Be writing his memoirs, b) be advising the President, c) desperate clawing at the inside of his coffin?: Click "C", thanks Jim.

27) Have you heard of "dullism", and if so, do you actually understand the concept?: Yes, of course I comprehend what it's about. It's an artistic movement coined by Greg Merlo, where you conceptualize a boring idea, and you transmogrify it into an interesting one, or vice versa; eg., "Dogs Playing Poker" turns into my painting "Dogs Misplace Cards".

28) What has been the greatest moment of your life this year?: Finding Alexis.

29) What do you think you will be doing a week from now?: Attempting to amuse myself and failing.

30) Do you think someone likes you?: Yes. Er. Maybe. *Sighs* I dunno.

31) Do you *know* someone likes you?: Nope.

32) Do you think you're ever going to ask this person out?: I dunno. Leave me alone...

33) What's a more unusual word: "kumquat" or "albatross"?: Shit, amazingly, this is possibly the most difficult question I came up with, haha...

34) Do you think Osama bin Laden was right in what he did?: Right in doing what he did; wrong in doing what he thought was right.

35) Do you think there is no one perfect food?: Sexactly.

36) Who's your favourite actor?: Right now, Billy Bob Thornton or Edward Norton. Any reasonably talented guy with "ton" on the end of their name, basically.

37) Who's your favourite fictitious character?: Difficult. Right now, Tyler Durden.

38) Who's your role model?: Right now, Hunter S. Thompson.

39) Who's your greatest friend (seriously)?: Jackson, my dog. Alternatively, Alexis, the love of my life. Or anyone who hasn't recently treated me like shit: Nay, Ged, Greg, Caitills, Cinta. I can't think of many others, haha...

40) What's your favourite quote of all time (insert it here)?: "We were riding the crest of a high and beautiful wave... So now, less than five years later, you can go up on a hill in Las Vegas, and look West, and with the right kind of eyes you can almost *see* the high-water mark - that place where the wave finally rolled, and broke back." - Hunter S. Thompson